My day began with a stroll in Central Park... well, actually it began with a slug of pepto followed by a buttered bagel chased with spirulina and wheat grass juice. What? You thought I was all bacon grease and ding dongs? Anyway, in the park I caught sight of a handful of seemingly sane "Sentries" clipping their hair with kiddie scissors at the foot of two eagles tearing into the flesh of a goat. Who do you suppose would be rocking back and forth nervously and watching over this gruesome scene/ritual? That's right, readers, the Mad as a Hatter Ritual Dancer himself, Bryce Droher! The Sentries were accompanied by Art Lydney, along with his little yellow bag and I'm guessing he was packing his cylinder.

I'm not going to bore you with the tiny details of this dash, let's role the highlight reel.

IT SNOWED LIKE HELL FROZE OVER!

After the salon treatments were over the entourage headed west to Tavern on the Green where they jumped onto a public payphone. Not long after, one of the Sentries was peeling a piece of paper off the bottom of one of the payphones. Holy Secret Code, Batman! Sentry Secrets? Soon the intrepid investigators and Art hurried off, giving the slip to some bearded follower as well as Bryce.

Pleased as punch, the Sentries landed at 49th and 7th where they made quick use of a conveniently placed webcam. They held a rectangle up to the camera, had a chat on a nearby public payphone (they still have those?) and then set off again!

I nearly lost the Scooby gang at this point, but a photographic memory, combined with my trusty monocular and it was a cinch to figure out what was going on. These clever Sentries had an ongoing conference call where they could hook up and discuss their next move. BINGO! I'm in and like Bobby D, I never looked back. Next Stop!? That Fortress of Knowledge on the corner of 42nd & 5th!

Caught up to those slippery fish as they met up with what looked like a hatless and horseless (come to think of it, Tonto-less) Lone Ranger on the front steps of NYC Public Library. LR handed them a flyer that sent them inside. After fiddling with some books inside... Sentries exited the Library, fueled up at Cossi and then scrambled off to Times Square where they waved another big Coded "HELLO!" to their support crew. While they went round like a merry go round about where to next, I made my way over to the Little Pie Company for a quickie slice of Sour Cream Apple Walnut and a cuppa Joe.

AND IT SNOWED SNOWED SNOWED!

The Sentries soon tripped off to Pete's Bar, then a quick sidebar to the gargoyle covered 81 Irving, where a couple of the Lady Sentries scored a beer can with another secret message. This goulish stop was followed by another cozy Sentry powwow/drinks all round at an Irish Pub called Shades of Green. Since the Sentries were getting their load on, I figured it's only fair I should get some too, so I hid in the corner and chased that great pie with a few whiskys. Purely for its warming, medicinal properties, a-course!

Whisky warming my insides and snow freezing my outsides, I followed the tipsy Sentries as they wobbled away from the Pub. Our next stop on the MadManManhattan Dash? Sheridan Square! Soon followed by Abingdon Square. Home of the famous DoughBoy! I know you're thinking Pizza, but google him, Kids – a true Sentry.

The now drunk, punchy and likely cold and wet Sentries stumbled and searched the park surrounding the DoughBoy and soon came up with a piece of paper. This message sent the entire bunch marching uptown to 14th Street, where they gave away a pair of socks (wtf?!) and jumped onto the A train. Taking a step back, I have to say they'd be a sight to someone who just stumbled on to them...

EVEN MORE SNOW! SNOW! SNOW!

The next bit is well fuzzy. I managed to hop into the last car of the same A train, but had a difficult time keeping my low profile and keeping up with the kids. My cold, wet feet went numb and I couldn't keep up. The Sentries popped off the train at 190th and dove into the elevator, leaving me in the frozen frigid dust. By the time I shot up the next elevator, the Kids were gone. I immediately headed out to track them down, but as I started up yet another stack of icy stairs, my feet kicked out from under me and I landed on my (luckily) padded behind. I dusted off only soon enough to hear the drunken Sentries clomping down the stairs above me.

Without much time for a good decision, I made a bad one instead and casually walked into a gated park next to the station entrance. The Sentries seemed to be looking my way until they found a short little guy with glasses who grabbed their attention. Didn't catch everything the Old Guy rambled on about, but I can tell you that he seemed to be taking the rap for something, apologized, handed them a letter and a folded brown bag and told them to find someone named Spook Have 2 (WTF?) at a bar named Druids. Old Guy popped onto the next elevator. I passed right by the busy bee Sentries. Next stop Druids!

Cut to Eddie Pope belly up with a Jameson's rocks in hand. It was nice hanging out, tossing back a few and allowing my toes to melt. Just when I started to forget why I was there, the Sentries entered the room and had a chat with someone I've never seen in this crazy mix. The letter was delivered to the unknown Dude and words exchanged, but I can't tell you what was said. It was all very hush hush and then the Sentries quickly left. I followed them for a few minutes until it became obvious that whatever they were doing, they'd done it and were now calling it a day.

And so ended my "MadManManhattan Dash", Readers. Fade to Black.

Wait...turn the lights on again for a sec..... Now, will someone please tell me what's going on?

Fade to Black (again.)